Date rape is also called acquaintance rape or hidden rape. It involves being subjected to unwanted sexual contact (intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or other sexual contact) through the use of force or the threat of force. The victim knows the rapist, and the act often occurs on a date.

Date rape cannot always be prevented. However, there are things you can do to reduce your risk of being raped on a date.

It is not possible to know exactly which men will rape in a dating situation. Date rapists are usually not psychopaths or people who deviate from mainstream society. Research suggests that certain characteristics may increase a man’s risk of committing rape. Be alert for men who:

• Show hostile attitudes toward women
• Do not listen to you, forcefully interrupt, or talk over you
• Do not respect your personal space
• Act extremely possessive
• Pressure you into doing things sexually
• Drink or take drugs often
• Ignore your wishes and do what they want
• Show anger easily toward women

Using drugs or drinking can increase your risk of date rape. People under the influence of alcohol and drugs have impaired judgment. They tend to be less likely to view unwanted sexual activity as rape.

Certain drugs have become known as date rape drugs: rohypnol, GHB, and ketamine. Rohypnol is also known as flunitrazepam, and GHB (gamma-hydroxybutyrate) is marketed as Xyrem for the treatment of narcolepsy. Ketamine, called "Special K," is a type of anesthetic that is used in humans and animals. These drugs, which act as sedatives, can easily be slipped into drinks. They can incapacitate a person and prevent him or her from resisting sexual assault. These drugs have no taste or odor. You cannot always know if something has been slipped into your drink. However, the following tips may help reduce the chances of this happening:

• Order a drink for yourself. Watch the bartender make the drink.
• Keep your drink in your hand at all times. Do not put it down.
• If you accept a drink, make sure it is in a sealed bottle or can.
• Do not accept a drink in a glass, cup, or open container.

Avoid situations and locations where rape is more likely to occur. If you do not know the person well, arrange to meet in a public setting for your first few dates. Make sure there are other people around. Go on a group date or meet a group of friends. Provide your own transportation. Do not invite the person to your home or go to that person’s home.

Be clear about how far you are willing to go sexually in a new dating situation. Try to socialize with people who share the same values. Someone who is more sexually permissive than you might think you share the same values. Your partner should respect your feelings and wait until you are ready.

Do not send mixed messages to your date. Be clear and firm about what you are comfortable doing. Trust your feelings and be assertive. Say no. If your date does not listen or makes you uncomfortable, leave the situation or ask the person to leave. Protest loudly, if necessary. Do not worry about hurt feelings.

If you do not feel safe with your date, leave the situation. If you are being threatened, get help right away. Your safety should be your first priority.

Last Reviewed November 2010